1st Draft of script

This is our original script which we then improved by changing a few scenes to make sure it fitted the thriller genre and it had enough tension and suspense in it. As our film is a psychological thriller we want the audience to question what they believe and they are not supposed to understand the wife is dead until the very end. For this reason we didn't want to give too much away in the opening sequence however the audience must be able to follow what it happening and it needs to make sense.
 This first draft was just to get a clearer picture of what we will do in our opening sequence because before this all we had was an idea. By drafting a script it was easier to plan the scenes more specifically and we can see how to improve the sequence.


EXT. GRAVEYARD. EVENING.

HUSBAND lays flowers on grave and walks off with dog sorrowfully.



INT. HOME (HALLWAY). EVENING.

HUSBAND closes the front door, taking his coat off. He takes the dog off its lead and gives it a pat.



INT. HOME (DINING ROOM). EVENING.

WIFE AND HUSBAND eating dinner at the table. No dialogue is exchanged and they don't even look at each other, creating a tense and awkward atmosphere.



INT. HOME (BEDROOM). NIGHT.

HUSBAND and WIFE  reading in bed. They lean over and turn their bedside lamps off without exchanging dialogue or kissing goodnight. The HUSBAND turns away from the WIFE to sleep.


WIFE is standing over the HUSBAND menacingly holding a knife. She stabs him repetitively in the chest and stomach, laughing sinisterly.



INT. BEDROOM. MORNING.

WIFE enters with a tray of breakfast in bed. HUSBAND wakes up.

WIFE

Morning honey, sleep well?

Oh, I forgot the coffee!

WIFE exits

HUSBAND leans over into the drawer and picks up a card with a phone number on it.

(Graphic match of card)


INT. OFFICE. DAY
GIRLFRIEND hands HUSBAND the card

GIRLFRIEND

Give me a call sir

(winks seductively)

GIRLFRIEND exits.

INT. HOME (BEDROOM). MORNING.

HUSBAND corrects tie in the mirror, he looks worried.

The beginning scenes, up until the wife stabbing the husband, would all have been part of a montage linked with a sound bridge of an eerie score which would create a tense mood. We decided this was a waste of time as it is a bit boring and there are more effective ways of showing that there is something odd about their relationship. Although we thought including normal everyday activities such as eating dinner would show that something is not right in the household we don't think this is clear enough for the audience as we have to remember they don't know the rest of the story. 

The scene of the husband getting killed by the wife is just his dream, and the reality is when he wakes up and sees her with breakfast in bed for him.

From the graphic match it would be a flashback of the husband receiving the phone number of one of his students (he is a university professor), before returning back to the present time.